John Key’s Twelve Days of Christmas

by Toby Manhire / 24 December, 2012
A dozen magic prime ministerial moments, in carol form.
While noting down some examples for this column the other day, I couldn’t but notice how it all fell so neatly into the form of a Christmas carol. So, herewith, at this time of reflection, a dozen of the treasures our prime minister has given us over the last year (and one or two from earlier than that, just because).

Ho ho ho, and so on.

 

John Key’s Twelve Days of Christmas



 


On the twelfth day of Christmas, my PM gave to me...


 


12 Maggots eaten


 


11 Liz Hurleys lusting


 


10 Hobbits hugging


 


9 Gangnams grooving


 


8 Catwalks mincing


 


7 Batshit Beckhams


 


6 Unread reports


 


5 Gay red tops


 


4 Sons-a-planking


 


3-way handshake


 



2 Tea cups


 


And a brain fade on GCSB

MostReadArticlesCollectionWidget - Most Read - Used in articles
AdvertModule - Advert - M-Rec / Halfpage

Latest

Climate change: New study finds worst case scenario might not be as bad
85994 2018-01-18 08:27:48Z Environment

Climate change: New study finds worst case scenari…

by Charlie Dreaver

Global warming's worst case scenario may not be as bad as previously thought, a new climate change study says.

Read more
The science of sibling rivalries
85949 2018-01-18 00:00:00Z Science

The science of sibling rivalries

by Sally Blundell

Who was the favourite? Who got the most? Sibling relationships set up patterns that last a lifetime.

Read more
The Post – movie review
85900 2018-01-18 00:00:00Z Movies

The Post – movie review

by Peter Calder

Meryl Streep shines in Steven Spielberg’s thrilling Nixon-era newspaper drama.

Read more
Homegrown rosé: The best of New Zealand's pink wine
86039 2018-01-18 00:00:00Z Wine

Homegrown rosé: The best of New Zealand's pink win…

by Michael Cooper

More people are reaching for a home-grown tinted tipple of rosé.

Read more
MetroLOLs for January
85710 2018-01-18 00:00:00Z Humour

MetroLOLs for January

by Metro

This month's LOLs include: Things your office is planning to implement in 2018 to “cater to millennials”.

Read more
Ending solo mum sanction could cost govt $25m a year
85960 2018-01-17 13:14:44Z Social issues

Ending solo mum sanction could cost govt $25m a ye…

by Craig McCulloch

Officials warn the cost could blow out "considerably" if the plan encourages more mothers not to name their baby's father.

Read more
Confessions of a shoplifter
85914 2018-01-17 07:11:11Z Crime

Confessions of a shoplifter

by Anonymous

A sticky-fingered habit finally catches up with a young Kiwi crim, who discovers the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Read more
Tidy Kiwis? We generate 734kg of waste each per year - and it's growing
85908 2018-01-17 06:59:32Z Environment

Tidy Kiwis? We generate 734kg of waste each per ye…

by Nita Blake-Persen

The government is vowing to cut the amount of waste New Zealanders create, which is estimated to be among the highest in the developed world.

Read more