How to be outraged on the internet

by Toby Manhire / 19 August, 2013
And useful tools to assess your own internet dick level.
You’ve met the internet, haven’t you?

“It turns out that when people are given a chance to argue anonymously, it takes about 15 seconds for the debate to descend into a virtual screaming match, leaving everyone involved both angrier and stupider,” explains Mark Straub in the online journal The Pessimist.

Just in case you’re new to all this, he proffers a deadpan primer: “How to Be Outraged on the Internet”.

First, and foremost:

Every time somebody expresses an opinion with which you disagree, they are doing it to anger you personally.


You are the only person who realises how enraging this situation is.

Not to forget:

Everything is your business.

Use a lot of capital letters so people KNOW you’re serious.

Be sure to pile in when someone is under attack.


Remember: it’s only bullying when it’s happening to you. When you’re doing it, it is brave social activism.

Whatever you do, don’t give up the fight.

Rage is its own victory. We’re not going to solve the world’s problems, but we can at least make other people feel horrible for disagreeing with us.

Idiocy on the internet has just about become its own scholarly subdivision.

Cracked earlier this year delivered "4 Reasons the Internet has Made Everyone an Entitled Dick".

And from Vice, "What is it about the internet that turns people into massive dicks?"

And via Gizmodo, here's a handy tool to assess your own internet dick level:

See also: Goldmine or gutter - the debate over internet comments.
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