It's time to count down to the new decade.
Twenty-10. Say it with us: 20-10. Two-thousand-10. 2010. Sooo much cooler than faffing around with "2000-and-nine". No more annoying "and", nuh-uh. It's all streamlined 20-10 and 20-11 for us, right up to the Apocalypse in 20-12. TV is totally going to be sooo much cooler in 2010. Last Chance to See and QI on Prime; new local drama This Is Not My Life on TV1; blockbusters FlashForward, Fringe and Lost on TV2; and new comedy Radiradirah and season six of -Outrageous Fortune on TV3. C4 has the Amy Poehler comedy Parks and Recreation and the very cool Sons of Anarchy. It has Heroes, too, but that is so, like, last decade.
But first, there's New Year's Eve. Which always sucks on television. First, because if you're watching TV on New Year's Eve, you're not at a party, and second, because it, well, sucks. When it comes to New Year's Eve tele-vision, we are Eeyore.
A couple of the channels are wisely not bothering at all: TV2 is screening Bride and Prejudice at 9.50pm, quickly followed by Dream Girls at 12.05am. TV3 can't be fagged, either, although whoever programmed Basic Instinct 2 at 11.30pm has no soul. Prime's Best of Top Gear Marathon (7.30pm) is just cruel.
Music channel C4 is, funnily enough, playing music of the modern party kind with Countdown to 2010 from 10.00pm. The -strangest programme of the night is Te Rangimarie: Mike King Talks to the Dalai Lama (Maori, 10.00pm), but that's not the worst of it. TV1 has ONE's Countdown to New Year (10.30pm) presented by Jason Gunn. Kill us now - or invite us to a party.