Calling all good sportsby Paul Thomas
Fancy yourself a sporting hero? Here’s the chance to prove it.
There’s more to sport than corruption, doping controversies and banal interviews. Test your appreciation of the diversion’s rich tapestry by tackling this quiz of the past sporting year.
1: What drove Pakistani cricketer Haris Sohail from his Christchurch hotel room?
A. An earthquake.
B. A supernatural presence.
C. An unannounced visit from Gerry Brownlee.
2: Who admitted to being physically attracted to “all savannah animals from the lowliest dung beetle”, especially the warthog?
A. An Australian rugby league player speaking on the condition of anonymity.
B. Alternative Commentary Collective member Matt Heath.
C. Suspended Fifa boss Sepp Blatter.
3: Who declared “do-gooders get stuffed”?
A. World heavyweight boxing champion Tyson Fury.
B. Cricketing legend Shane Warne.
C. Boxing aficionado Sir Bob Jones.
4: Complete this sentence: You are more likely to be bitten by Uruguayan soccer player Luis Suárez than …
A. Bitten by a shark.
B. Stung to death by wasps.
C. Killed by a firearm if you’re an American.
5: How many of these seven great players – Dan Carter, Jerome Kaino, Richie McCaw, Keven Mealamu, Ma‘a Nonu, Conrad Smith, Tony Woodcock – would have made the All Blacks World Cup starting XV or reserves if NZ Herald sports columnist Chris Rattue had picked the team?
6: How much was Floyd Mayweather reportedly paid for 36 minutes of boxing against Manny Pacquiao?
A. US$50 million.
B. US$100 million.
C. US$180 million.
7: What is Tiger Woods’ current world ranking?
8: What did the Black Caps do to make Aussie wicketkeeper Brad Haddin uncomfortable?
A. Put Deep Heat in his abdominal protector.
B. They were nice to him.
C. Taunted him about Australia’s treatment of boat people.
9: What did Houston Texans running back Arian Foster, after much soul-searching, publicly admit to?
B. Addiction to pornography.
C. Devil worship.
10: What did Sonny Bill Williams do immediately after the Rugby World Cup final that caused some to accuse him of being disrespectful of his teammates and the occasion?
A. Mock Prince Harry for being a “ginga”.
B. Skip the presentation ceremony to go clubbing with rich Arab playboys.
C. Present his medal to a 14-year-old fan who was bowled over by a zealous security guard.
1: B. 2: Matt Heath. Fellow ACC member Jeremy Wells has a thing for cheetahs. 3: Shane Warne, on being criticised for his post-Cricket World Cup final interviews that dwelt on just how paralytic the victorious Aussies were going to get. 4: Any of them, according to research conducted by the New Statesman. 5: One – Ma‘a Nonu. 6: C. 7: C. Woods was ranked No 1 as recently as May 2014 and all-up has been No 1 for 683 weeks. 8: B. Haddin claimed the Black Caps deserved to be sledged in the final because in pool play the Kiwis were “nice to us and we were that uncomfortable.” He vowed that next time the teams met, “I’m not playing cricket like this.” 9: A. 10: C.
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