Words of wisdom: October 2016

by The Listener / 12 October, 2016
“Supporters of Donald Trump are saying the fact that he lost a billion dollars and then didn’t pay income taxes for 18 years means he is a ‘genius’. So, three marriages makes him a ‘feminist’.” – US talk-show host Conan O’Brien

“I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.”
US comedian Demetri Martin


“Secretary Clinton is still struggling with millennials. If you’re not sure who millennials are, they’re the ones who never use the term ‘millennials’.“
Late Show host Stephen Colbert


“The one difference between death and taxes is that death does not get worse.”
Will Rogers


“Julian Assange says he has secret information about both Trump and Clinton, and that information may drastically change people’s views of these candidates. Americans replied, ‘Wait, it’s going to make us like them?’”
British comedian James Corden


“Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite as satisfying as an income tax refund.”
FJ Raymond, quoted on Forbes.com


“Madonna reportedly bought her son a Donald Trump piñata to celebrate his birthday. A Donald Trump piñata is just like a regular piñata, except there’s nothing inside.”
US talk-show host Seth Meyers


“If you learn from every mistake, you really didn’t make a mistake.”
football coach Vince Lombardi


“Of course, it did not take long for one of the two debate candidates to tell a lie. Hillary: ‘Donald, it’s good to be with you.’ False! Where are the fact-checkers?”
Late Show host Stephen Colbert


“It’s my belief we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.”
Lily Tomlin


“In an interview with Rolling Stone, Bruce Springsteen called Trump a moron. Now Trump’s starting a rumour that Springsteen wasn’t really born in the USA.”
US comedian Jimmy Fallon


“Being a famous journalist is like being the best-dressed woman on radio.”
Robin Williams on the news business


“My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don’t really know me.”
comedian Garry Shandling


“Work is a toad that squats on my life.”
poet Philip Larkin


“It pays to be a little deaf.”
Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, quoting her mother-in-law on how to conduct a satisfying marriage


“I’ve known success and I’ve known failure and success is better in some respects.”
Sesame Workshop co-founder Joan Ganz Cooney


“The worldwide slobbering over celebrities, often by celebrities who became celebrities by slobbering over celebrities, is a felony against journalism.”
Walter Goodman quoted in the New York Times


Follow the Listener on Twitter or Facebook.

Latest

My Brilliant Friend: The HBO adaptation of Elena Ferrante comes to NZ television
99028 2018-11-19 00:00:00Z Television

My Brilliant Friend: The HBO adaptation of Elena F…

by Fiona Rae

A new TV series stars two women in repressed, male-chauvinist Naples and is filmed in Neapolitan.

Read more
If I were a rich man: A grammarian on the nettlesome subjunctive
98551 2018-11-19 00:00:00Z Diversions

If I were a rich man: A grammarian on the nettleso…

by Ray Prebble

Many people find themselves using one or other of these subjunctive forms without really knowing why.

Read more
As China shuts its gates to our plastics and paper, how can NZ stem the tide?
99059 2018-11-19 00:00:00Z Planet

As China shuts its gates to our plastics and paper…

by Veronika Meduna

Unless we get serious about recycling, there’ll be a tonne of plastic for every three tonnes of fish in the ocean by 2025.

Read more
Heights of contradiction: American and Israeli Jews' complicated relationship
99055 2018-11-18 00:00:00Z World

Heights of contradiction: American and Israeli Jew…

by Todd Pitock

Todd Pitock's travels through Israel reveal the true differences between American and Israeli Jews.

Read more
The Democrat's midterm wins spell the end of Trump's dream run
99105 2018-11-18 00:00:00Z World

The Democrat's midterm wins spell the end of Trump…

by Paul Thomas

Far from being Trump’s near-“complete victory”, the midterms mean opportunities for rigging electoral boundaries have swung back towards the Dems.

Read more
Sally Rooney's Normal People has the makings of a classic
99094 2018-11-18 00:00:00Z Books

Sally Rooney's Normal People has the makings of a …

by Kiran Dass

Normal People is sharply observed portrait of an on-off romance and a book you need to read.

Read more
Why you should avoid 'eating for two' during pregnancy
98747 2018-11-18 00:00:00Z Health

Why you should avoid 'eating for two' during pregn…

by Ruth Nichol

Doubling down on food during pregnancy is out, unless it’s diet quality we’re talking about.

Read more
The long, slow goodbye to Angela Merkel
99173 2018-11-17 00:00:00Z World

The long, slow goodbye to Angela Merkel

by Cathrin Schaer

German Chancellor Angela Merkel plans to leave the job in 2021, but that’s not soon enough for some.

Read more