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Wordsworth competition: False historical trivia

This week’s Wordsworth competition was to dream up a piece of false historical trivia.

Auckland’s Peter Reid writes: After returning from his Everest expedition, Sir Ed was injured during a difficult ascent of the slippery front steps to his house.

Anne Martin of Helensville: The guillotine, when not needed for executions, was appropriated by Parisian chefs for the bulk slicing of carrots.

Hans Zindel of Palmerston North: Guy Fawkes’ failed attempts to light wet matches under the House of Lords gave rise to the phrase “three strikes and you’re out”.

Stuart Reid: JFK originally planned to say, “Ich bin ein Frankfurter.”

From John Mills of Gebbies Valley: President Truman authorised millions for military research into fusion, hoping a breakthrough could reduce his lower back pain.

Trivia in clerihew form by Auckland’s Rex McGregor: Richard Seddon/Said votes for women would be Armageddon./”The leopardess mustn’t rule the leopard./The Lord is not my Sheppard!”

Bay of Plenty’s David Wort won with: Felled by an arrow through his eye, King Harold lay dying. The Norman de Bayeux knelt to comfort him. “It’s all part of life’s rich tapestry,” gasped Harold. This gave de Bayeux the best idea of his life.

Thanks to all who have suggested ideas for future contests. The next one was sent in by John Mills: write a rhyming couplet to describe what might happen if Trump becomes President. Entries, for the prize below, close at noon on Thursday, August 18.

Send in your submissions to: wordsworth@listener.co.nz or Wordsworth, NZ Listener, Private Bag 92512, Wellesley St, Auckland 1141. Please include your address.

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Peggy Guggenheim: Art Addict combines audio interviews and a wealth of visual resources to trace the life, times and foibles of the New York-born collector and patron of the avant-garde.

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